Saturday, May 22, 2004


American Party Fun

I don't know how I got roped into this, but Sassy LaRue has been saying for month's that it seemed like a good time for me to host another tonight I am hosting a Hillbilly Party -- we keep saying White Trash, but that's not so nice. The menu has been a challenge, since, well, I don't normally make food like this, and I didn't want to end up with a lot of leftovers (for instance, Pork Rinds. Funny though they are, I would have just thrown them out)...So this is what we ended up with:

Sandwich Platter:
Fluffernutter (That's peanut butter and marshmallow fluff on white bread, a DELICIOUS concoction that teenaged dope fiends and trailer vixens everywhere feed on.)

Bologna and Cheese (B-O-L-O-G-N-A. Except not Oscar Meyer brand, so it's not quite as upscale.)

Pigs In A Blanket (My concession. Typically this seems to be hotdogs wrapped in biscuit mix, or some variation. OUR variation is Adiells Chicken and Artichoke Sausage wrapped in Puff Pastry.)

Cheese Puffs (Mmm. Cheesy. I had a choice of these or Cheese in a can, but that was $4.00, so obviously, I went with the puffs -- at half the price)

BBQ Chips (People like their BBQ sauce, so this is my homage)

Chips with Clam Dip (Clam Dip! Clam Dip! Clams-From-A-Can-Dip! YUMMY! YUMMY!I couldn't bring myself to buy French Onion Soup Mix for this.)

Jello Shots (Green apple, like the Appletinis that went out about 3 years ago -- IE: Perfect.)

Beer (Tall boys galore! No bottles! I have two classes to teach tomorrow, and a brunch, so I guess the drinking will be kept to a minimum...)

Moon Pies and Twinkies (Lard and Sugar all in one! BONUS!)

Spiked Watermelon (Well, I just like watermelon, what can I say...)

The soundtrack, of course, is heavy on Lynard Skynard, Drive By Truckers and the ilk.

Here is a recipe for Spiked Watermelon:

Start this the day before you want to eat it. All you do is make a hole in a watermelon (with seeds!) about as big as the opening on your bottle. Use a small knife and take out some of the melon, enough to make room for a pint of vodka. Save the plug (rind) that you cut out. If your melon takes the vodka fairly fast before your cookout, push the plug back in. Turn the bottle (carefully and slow) upside down and stick it in the melon. Push it down tight. Let it drain in. If not eaten in 2 days will become very mushy.

(This recipe is so popular, I have reprinted it here.)

In Cincinnati 40 years ago, I was invited to a summer party including a "watermelom wallow". On a blanket spread on the back lawn, was a watermelon. A thin longitudinal slice/lid was removed to allow the inside meat to be removed and crushed. After the seeds were separated out, vodka or rum were added to the crushed meat. A row of soda straw sized holes were drilled just below the lid cut line. Straws were inserted, the mix and the lid were replaced, and the melon with its necklas of straws was placed in the middle of the blanket. The enthusiastic guests lay on their stomachs and suckled the drink like pigs from a sow. Is this jolly practice well known elsewhere?
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